COMPARISON OF PAIN

“People around the world have got bigger problems than yours”. 

Saying this to a person who is already going through a lot in their life is just the same as saying that your problem is not worthy of expressing or that you have no right to feel the pain being inflicted upon you just because someone else has it worse. This is not only going to make them feel more depressed but will also set them back in their healing procedure. I totally agree, that some people are actually going through a lot in their life and that their problems are different, but using this statement to someone in distress is  just to make them feel like their problem or the situation they are in has no significance. No matter how small the problem is, everyone feels sad for something bad going on in their life and that's totally fine. We all need validation that our pain is real and that there is no winner in the pain game. We are just looking at their life from an outsider’s perspective, but not actually living in it while they are .

It is truly disappointing that when a person finally starts to share their thoughts and opens up about what is causing them distress ,someone starts to overshadow their problems by telling them that someone else or they themselves have it worse.

let us understand it through an example.

When you suffer from a fever and you go to the hospital, does the doctor gives you medicine or says that you only have a fever while the other person has cancer?  “Look at the cancer patient he is suffering more than you”No right.Just like physical health mental health is also important and as human beings, we are the ones who should be careful before saying such type of things to a person. it can affect them badly sometimes.     

Some people say such things out of care or to try and divert the attention of the one in pain but this only sets them back in the process of their recovery and instead of healing or feeling better the person starts to indulgein acts of absorbing the pain and acting as if everything is ok. This just makes them feel more depressed and they start to think that nobody can ever understand them.People need space to feel their emotions, and it is a important part of moving forward.So don’t be the type of person who minimalizes the feeling of others and help your family, friends and people around you that you care about.

What else can we do instead of consoling them through the pain game?

• Asking them how they feel.
• Hugging and embracing them.
• listening to their situation patiently.
• Giving them some advise which can reduce their problem .
• tell them that you are here for them no matter what or when.
• distract them by talking about something funny, anything which they like or it can be about any good memories too.

REMINDER:

Be nice to the people around you who need your help, talk to them and help them.you never know how critical their situation could be from the inside, what type of thoughts they are dealing or how badly they are trying to survive. Your few words can affect them a lot either in a positive way or in negative.

I hope you find this helpful and informative.                              

thank you!